Time for some deep reflection

I do find it very odd that me and all of my sisters made the same choice. I have three sisters. We all married men that had some form of chemical addiction and were abusive, whether physically, verbally or emotionally. I believe that all of us had physically abusive partners, but one of might have avoided that portion. I am not sure.

I had to take some time just to reflect on my childhood. Hopefully this would explain some things to me. Click here for these reflections.

Since then, I spent a lifetime, I think, just trying to be the best that I can be in my personal goals, and in my character.

I have reached for more than my family predecessors, and I desire to reach for more. What I mean by this, is that I had goals and worked to attain them. I played sports all through Jr High and High School. I went to college right out of high school and graduated with my Bachelor's Degree with a 3.2 average at 21, while being a single parent. I worked as a computer programmer analyst for 12 years, and a Math/Algebra Teacher for 7.

Part of my character is to be nice to people and to help people when they need help, even if they do not deserve it. But, I do find that people tend to take advantage of this. So I have been taken advantage of. But oddly, I have only been taken advantage of by a few men who I decided to make a commitment to.

I had to take some time just to reflect on my boyfriends. Hopefully this would explain some more. Click here for these reflections.

This led me to my current husband. Now I have a whole lot of reflection.Click here for these reflections.

My christian walk had been making changes in my heart, and the holy spirit was the author of all those changes. I went from cocky to mostly humble. I went from know-it-all, to not knowing anywhere near enough of what really matters. Workaholic to lover of my family. The changes went on and on. I could no longer watch the shows I used to watch, listen to the music I used to listen to, participate in the activities I used to participate in. I look back and it is so hard to believe the person I used to be and the person I am now. Granted, maturity also went along with that. I grew up. Parenthood also got the best of me, as my children are God's greatest gifts and I wanted to bring them up in the Lord.

I went to counseling with the church about 10 years ago. My 12 year old was just a few months old. We attended